Tuesday, May 31, 2011

In which impatience reigns.

I feel as if I'm stagnating. No learning, no progress, no new-ness. I clamber out of bed, clean dorms, eat lunch with Michael, accompany for a few voice lessons, and then clean toilets. Day in and day out.

I'm so ready to leave for Vienna. For new countries, new languages, new foods, new people. I'll miss my roommates, my family, and of course my Michael. But beyond that? Not much. I'd be gone today if I could be.

It all feels like...drudgery. Like I've lost that talent I had for seeing the beautiful in everything. For finding new ways to progress and grow. Where did it go? How do I get it back?

Because, like it or not, I have two more weeks here in Provo. And so I'd better make the most of them. How though?
Go running in this beautiful weather (I think I will do that as soon as I finish typing.)
Read all I can about Vienna so I can be even more excited.
Smile more. Reach out a little more to my coworkers and ward members.
Play the guitar a lot.
Read my scriptures more deeply, consistently.
Spend more time with friends I love. This one is difficult, seeing as I only have two weeks, I want to spend time with my family and Michael before I leave, and I have a lot of busywork things to do before I leave...We'll figure it out.
Go swimming, now that it's finally warm enough!
Visit someone in my ward at some point. Just drop in on them. This is completely terrifying, but I want to learn how. I don't like feeling trapped in my apartment, and I like the idea of just going and saying hi to people.
Pray for help in seeing the beauty of my life, here, in Provo, and seeing the wonderful qualities of the people around me.
And then, after a long, (hopefully happy) two weeks...hop a plane for Vienna and explore me some Europe!

And now, I think I will go outside. I'm getting cabin fever in this little apartment o'mine.

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