Sunday, June 20, 2010

At least I got my brownies made? Sort of?

I will never understand why the days in which I have the "free" time in which to, y'know, be productive and stuff, tend to be the days where I sit around all day, do absolutely nothing and then feel like a lame bum.
Case in point:
Today was Sunday. I don't have church until 2. My family has church from 11 until 2. I usually wake up around 10:30 0r 11, leaving me 3 to 4 hours to fill. I usually get realllllly bored. Today I decided to counteract said boredom by drawing up a list of objectives, a "to-do list," if you will. Here it is:
1. Read my scriptures.
2. Make a training plan for my half-marathon.
3. Put my missionary letters in the mailbox (they've been written and sitting on my nightstand for a week).
4. Make cookies for my dad for Father's Day.
5. Write my dad an awesome, artistic card.
6. Balance my checkbook.
7. Get in a good hour of piano practicing.

I even woke up at 9:30. That's really early for me! Somehow though, all my awesome, productive plans fell through. And...here are the objectives I actually achieved.
1. Chat with my mom about my adventures last night.
2. Eat some delicious granola.
3. Take a nice long shower.
3. Read my book.
4. Get on facebook, where I am entrapped in a conversation with a good friend.
5. Extricate myself from said conversation with considerable trouble.
6. Read my book some more.
7. Talk to my brother as he stops at home en route to his friend's farewell.
8. Start making the brownies.
9. Say hi to my mom when she comes home to print something off.
10. Read some more.
11. Go blowdry my hair, because if I don't RIGHT NOW it will get stuck parted the wrong way.
12. Remember my brownies, and search for the missing ingredients.
13. Finish getting ready for church.
14. Stick the brownies in the oven.
15. Scribble a card for my dad really fast.
16. Realize, "Oh CRAP, I have to be at church in 5 MINUTES and the brownies still have 8 MINUTES to cook!"
17. Pull the brownies out of the oven, write a quick note warning anyone who may come across them that they may not be fully cooked, and then dash off to church.

Yeah....lately I struggle with the entire "responsibility" area of life. Punctuality...reliability...maturity...adulthood...all struggles.

Also, here's a post from one of my new favorite blogs that I thought nicely summarized my feelings about life in general today. (Oh um...don't click that link if you're as profanity-sensitive as I should be but am not...)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Chocolate chip cookie dough crunch? What are you doing here? And what happened to all my OPINIONS?

So some days, there are just so many things I want to quote! So many snippets of joy I want to share! And I lament that I have but one facebook status in which to bless the world with my out of context quotations. So just to get it out of my system, here are the quotes rattling in my head today.
"I..um...find it difficult to have opinions around ice cream." Dino Comics
"But there's a time and a place, you know? Maybe the best way to build a bright new world is to peel some spuds in this one?" Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
"In a world where we all move in curves, he proceeds in a straight line. And going straight in a world of curves makes things happen." Night Watch
"
People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but prefer dinner to turn up inside an hour." Night Watch.
"
I'm not aware of too many things, I know what I know, if you know what I mean." Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians.
"'He's probably having a NCMO...' 'Wait, who are you talking about?' 'Who are you talking about?'" my roomie and me...
"Ninety percent of magic is knowing one extra fact." Night Watch
Yes, I'm aware that most of these come from one book. Terry Pratchett's real quotable, a'ight?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Sweet, juicy victory.

Every day at work, with shaking knees and pounding heart, I face my nemesis. It is a terrifying beast, complex, powerful and dangerous to boot. I've seen grown men quiver in its stare, and it rules the hosts of the Cannon Center with an iron fist. What is this fiend? It is the Cannon Center juice machine. (Or for the sake of accuracy, the juice machines. I refer to them as a single entity because I'm sure there's some kinda hive-mind thing going on there).
Many times have I faced down this demon, and many times have I been defeated. Two weeks ago, I was cleaning the front of one of the machines, when it suddenly began spewing grape juice everywhere. Its power froze me in my tracks, leaving me only enough strength to weakly call, "Claire? I'm gonna need your juice key...." Oh the shame that coursed through my body and soul as I mopped up the carnage left in the monster's wake. I had failed.
Three days ago, however, I had the chance to redeem myself. I was going about my normal host-y duties, when an R.A. approached me, panic in his eyes. "The cranberry juice won't stop!" he cried. Without a moment's hesitation, I sprinted across the dining hall to the cashier stand, and called to one of my fellows-in-arms, "Seth! Give me your juice key!" My comrade lobbed the lanyard across the space between us. I snatched it from the air in a manner that Harrison Ford would approve of, and wheeled around back to the offending juice machine, where I thrust the key into the belly of the beast, disabling it and thwarting its evil plans.
Ok, actually the juice machine wasn't spewing out cranberry anymore by that point (it had run out of juice) so it was slightly less dramatic than I would have hoped. I must say though, my key-catch was fairly epic.
Following this dashing escapade, my manager asked me to perform the daunting task of emptying all of the juice trays. This has never turned out well for me. I usually end up with more juice on my shoes and pants than actually makes it into the bucket. This time, however, I faced the task with relish. "I am now the master of the juice machine," I thought. "Besides, I already have half of this really cool blog post composed in my head, I can't fail now."
Long story short, I deftly and expertly removed every tray, emptying the juice from each without a drop spilling to the floor. I no longer have anything to fear from the juice machines because I have seen their worst, faced it, and conquered.
Next goal: filling up the smoothie makers without spilling.