I know this is a somewhat radical concept in our society of fairy-tale ideals, but here goes: how bad is it to marry someone who you are not "in love" with? I'm not referring to marrying for money or convenience, or marrying someone you despise. I'm imagining a scenario in which you know someone very well, respect, admire, and even love them, but feel no romantic affection for them. Maybe you're even physically attracted to this person, but this attraction is something quite separate from your feelings for them as an individual. Is it so wrong to want to spend your life with someone who understands you, who you love to spend time with, and who makes you a better person, even if you don't get butterflies in your stomach when you hear their name and the the thought of them does not induce a giddy euphoria?
I mean, from what I've heard, the "in love " feeling usually fades some time into a marriage anyways, hopefully replaced by a deeper love that is "built" and not "fallen into."
I suppose the only dangers with this course are that you could later fall "in love" with someone else, or that you might always wonder what you missed out on. Obviously starting out "in love " may be more desirable than not. But I've often been counseled that in choosing a mate, being in love is not the most important thing to consider. I submit that it may not even be essential. Surely marrying someone you love and respect without romance is better than living life alone, or even marrying someone you're crazy for but who doesn't share your priorities, goals, or morals.
As a disclaimer, I should add that I've never actually been in love, as far as I know. I've had "crushes" on boys, and I have deeply cared about people before. But no feeling I have felt has approached the elusive "in love" I hear people talk about. In fact, I don't even know how to define "being in love." So maybe I'm missing the point here. Maybe it is something so great that you wouldn't want to marry without it, or live your life without having experienced it. But in my limited knowledge, it seems that someone could have a happy, loving marriage without being all mushy about each other beforehand.
Also, for any who may be concerned: I'm not getting married anytime soon. Not a chance of that. I was just thinking today and thought I'd post to see what others thought. Thoughts, anyone?