And then I accidentally hit publish. If you happened to be on my blog in the exact right 3 minute window, you got to read it. You are lucky.
I couldn't figure out how to delete a post (yes, I'm retarded). So I hit "edit," deleted all the text and hit "publish" again. Voila, an unsightly blank blog post.
Then I got to thinking, "You know, that post wasn't half bad. With a little editing, it might even be worthy to publish again." I'm trying to learn to open up to people more, so maybe posting it would have been an ok idea. I thought I'd used cut and paste when I cleared the text, so with excitement, I hit edit again and carefully hit Ctrl-V.
And I got some random text I'd inadvertently copied earlier today.
Apparently I hit "backspace" after all.
I suppose I could rewrite it, but it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing and I'm not sure I could effectively recapture the thoughts and emotions it contained. I'd be disappointed that it didn't measure up to the first time I wrote it.
But writing (and then realizing that I was actually ok with posting it) was a good experience for me. I don't know how to describe it, beyond that it felt happy and open and more optimistic than I've been in a while.
And now you can wonder forever what it said! Hooray!