In Which I Am Alive

A friend once asked me what I feared most. The conversation had consisted of answers along the lines of spiders, snakes, rapists, the like. My response: "Being wrong." I was terrified that I was going to die, and find out that everything I ever believed in was wrong.  That I would wake up, look around and realize, "Hey, this is hell, not heaven!" But today, I realized...I could handle that. Well, not the being in hell part. That would suck. Just the being wrong part. That if I died and was having a good old heart-to-heart with God, or St. Peter, or my great-great grandmother-- whoever shows you the ropes and answers your questions after you die-- and was told, "You know, your beliefs were great and all, but the Baptists were actually a lot closer to the truth" I'd be a little confused, but I could take it. That if I learned that the Trinitarian conception of the Godhead was a lot closer than the Mormon one, or that the prophets have made mistakes a...

Hey friends. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I was thinking about starting a blog (actually, I had to for a class) and I was trying to think of a URL for it. Around the same time, I watched a documentary on the life of an LDS concert pianist named Reid Nibley (Yes, Hugh's brother). When Reid was asked what advice he had for young piano students, all he said was, "Practice beautifully."  That little phrase changed my perspective. Previously I had practiced mechanically, trying to memorize songs, perfect technique, all that jazz. But how much more enjoyable, how much more wonderful can practicing be, if every second that I'm at the piano, I am striving for beauty, for emotional connection with music, for purity in sound and feeling? And outside of music, what if we lived every second like it mattered, not like it was a practice for something later? I decided to take Nibley's "Practice Beautifully" one step further, and use the phrase "Li...

You know it's a bad sign when: 1) Your mother gets you an herbal supplement to help "regulate your cycle" 2) She warns you beforehand to take it with something that has a really strong taste to mask the pill's taste. 3) The active ingredient is called "Chaste Berry" (What does that even mean...?) 4) The pills are poop-colored. 5) You open the pill bottle a foot away from your face and still almost gag from the smell. Oh, the things I do for hormonal balance.

You know what I realized about people today? Everyone is right in some ways. And everyone is wrong in some ways. But everyone is right and wrong in different ways from each other. Which makes it really easy for one person to say, "Look, I'm right and you're wrong!" And for the other person to say, "Um, no, I'm right and you're wrong!" And for both statements to be true. Because both of them are right. And both of them are wrong. I think that's the cause of most conflicts. Global, national, political, cultural, personal, familial. Everyone's right. And everyone's wrong. So if we could all just cooperate enough to put all our rightnesses together, and then help each other get rid of our wrongnesses.... Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Guys! Guys. GUYS!!! I just realized something amazing. Listen to this . Now listen to this . Yeah, I know, weird, right?? It's highly possible I will be telling everyone I know about this for a few days. And even more highly possible that they'll look at me and say, "You never realized they were the same? Wow...." I'm still really excited about it though.

2010 has been a year of firsts...which always makes for an adventure. First time writing a check (I'm such a grownup!) First time holding a job while taking classes (and first job not at a swimming pool) First time getting a flower for Valentine's Day (Thank you, random Cannon Center customers). First time applying to the Music Education program First time getting accepted into the Music Education program First relationship lasting longer than 2 weeks First kiss First real breakup First time getting rejected for a job I applied for First half-marathon First time living at home since coming to college First time attending a non-BYU singles ward First time being ward organist First time visiting Washington D.C. First time going on a date with a co-worker First time singing with BYU Women's Chorus First time failing a test First time getting a B minus in a class (and being deliriously happy with it) First time introducing a significan...

Finding the very perfectest gifts for the very bestest people in my life. Hearing my two favorite Christmas songs on the radio. This cover of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and this version of the 12 Days of Christmas. Good day, eh? Going to the Carl Bloch exhibit. Building a gingerbread house. Actually, a graham cracker trailer park. But I digress. Losing the gas cap to my car. Playing Ticket to Ride with an astoundingly awesome person. Deep-cleaning the Cannon Center...I think I got high off of degreaser...multiple times... Free pie Wednesday!!! And catching up with awesome friends from high school. Hittin' the powder at Sundance with my siblings. My sister vastly improved my technique with one simple phrase, "Karissa, lead with your shoulders, not your hips!" She is wise. Reading all my favorite children's books that I'd forgotten about. "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey," "Babysitter's Club," ...