Saturday, December 12, 2009

My self-imposed isolation

Sometimes, I get lonely. That's pretty normal I think. Right now, my roommates are home, but I don't want to talk to them. And yet, I'm craving human contact. So i browse facebook, hoping to see someone I know on chat. I write this blog post, both to figure out my thoughts and to quietly say, "Hey world...um...i exist. Just thought I'd remind you..." Somehow, this need for people makes me feel weak. I've been staring at my phone for half an hour, knowing all I have to do is text Jeff or Brenton and, odds are, I'll have myself a conversation. I could pick up the phone and call my Mom, or my grandma, or Jessie. But I don't because, for some reason, I feel ashamed that I need people. I should be able to sit by myself and do homework without having this unsettled feeling in my stomach, without wishing someone would call me just to say hi. I shouldn't NEED anyone except for myself!
And yet...I do. Maybe that's the way I'm supposed to be. I guess if nobody needed each other, we'd all live in quiet isolation. We'd be satisfied I suppose, but so many discoveries, adventures and joint work wouldn't exist. The increase in efficiency that comes in cooperation would be unheard of. The sharing of knowledge would decrease, and perhaps even literacy would decrease for, as C.S. Lewis said, "We read to know we are not alone" and if we didn't mind being alone, why read? Maybe we need to need each other. Maybe God made us need each other so we could practice needing Him.
Hmm....well, maybe I will call my mom after all.
Or, you know, step outside my room and talk to my roommates. Couldn't hurt.

7 comments:

  1. I feel that way occasionally. Just wanting to sit around and do nothing, and then regretting it afterward.

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  2. If I were home you could talk to me...oh wait, I am home.

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  3. You weren't home when I wrote this, love!

    Gus...do I know you?

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  5. Heh, it appears that random bloggers are popping out of the woodwork today on your blog, Kriss.

    But I am not certain we know each other. I apologize if you do not mean for unknowns to submit comments on here.

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  6. ha ha this is a true fact. No, its fine, if I didn't want people I didn't know reading this I wouldn't make my blog open to the public.

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  7. Hallo.
    I like you.
    Also, I enjoy discussing fundamental tensions of the human existence.
    Especially when I should be doing my homework.
    Thank you.
    :D

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