Skip to main content

In which I don't know how to do friendship

Before I got married, I used to swear up and down that Aaron and I would never be one of "those" couples. You know, the ones who, upon getting married, retreat into their married bliss and completely ignore their friends forever. No, I was sure that I'd spend just as much time with my friends after I got married as I did before.  I was wrong.

I've been married for a year and a half, and I rarely see or talk to most of my friends. Many of them have graduated and moved away, some have had babies, and some I just....haven't made time for. My ability to make new friends also seems to have completely disappeared. I can do small talk and casual aquaintanceship just fine, but moving to actual friend level? I have no idea how to make that happen.

There are a few reasons for this. First, before I was married, I lived with some of my best friends, so it was pretty easy to make time for them. The friends I didn't live with still mostly lived within a few blocks. It's a lot easier to call someone over from the next room or to walk across the street then it is to drive for half an hour to see a friend.

Also, before I was married, I was attending a singles ward (a Mormon congregation made up of young single adults). In the singles wards, there were constant social activities: FHE, Break the Fast, dinner groups, Institute, and plenty of game nights, dances, and ice skating activities. The family ward I attend now probably has one ward activity every few months, which means if I want to be social, I have to actually plan it myself.

But, if I'm being honest with myself, I can't blame my poor friendship skills on my living situation or on the number of activities my ward has. The reason why my friendships are faltering is that I haven't been putting effort into them. The reason why I haven't been making new friends is because I haven't developed the skills necessary to do so. I've let myself get complacent and lazy with my friendships, and as a result, my friendships have not been flourishing the way I'd like them to.

But I'm going to do better. It's hard and scary, but I'm going to do it. This week I have plans with an old roommate to go to the temple after work, and I have pending plans to go to the gym with a few different people(...still need to follow through on that...). It's really difficult for me to get up the courage to call someone and make plans (what if they don't want to hang out with me? What if they think I'm weird? What if the activity I suggest is one that they hate?) but it's worth it to me. I need the enrichment, the trust, the fun, and even the vulnerability that real friendships provide. I don't really know how to be a good friend in this stage of my life. But I intend to figure it out.

Comments

  1. I have been married for a little over a year...and it has happened to us as well :) I almost think that it is inevitable :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In which I pen a tribute to my ex-boyfriends

So, I promised a friend I would have something substantial up here by tonight. Another friend told me that I needed to post soon, because...MY READERSHIP! I didn't know I had a "readership" but if I do, I'd hate to disappoint them! So here goes. Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions about whether or not I'm dating anyone, or if I'm still dating "that one guy" (which has been used in reference to both the man I stopped dating about a month ago, and the other fellow I stopped dating over a year ago), or simply condolences that things didn't work out with some relationship or another. These questions and condolences are often coupled with the idea that I'll "find the right guy soon," or "I met my husband right after a break-up," or that "if it isn't right, it isn't right." And while I don't disagree with any of those statements, I also feel that these relationships and subsequent breakups,...

This is the birth day of life and love and wings

In honor of Easter, and spring, here is one of my most favorite poems, by one of my most favorite poets, e. e. cummings. (Yes, he really doesn't capitalize his name, I'm not just being a lazy blogger). (P.S. for best results, read this poem out loud. It's better that way)/ i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes (i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth) how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any-lifted from the no of all nothing-human merely being doubt unimaginable You? (now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Some thoughts on love

I know this is a somewhat radical concept in our society of fairy-tale ideals, but here goes: how bad is it to marry someone who you are not "in love" with? I'm not referring to marrying for money or convenience, or marrying someone you despise. I'm imagining a scenario in which you know someone very well, respect, admire, and even love them, but feel no romantic affection for them. Maybe you're even physically attracted to this person, but this attraction is something quite separate from your feelings for them as an individual. Is it so wrong to want to spend your life with someone who understands you, who you love to spend time with, and who makes you a better person, even if you don't get butterflies in your stomach when you hear their name and the the thought of them does not induce a giddy euphoria? I mean, from what I've heard, the "in love " feeling usually fades some time into a marriage anyways, hopefully replaced by a deeper love t...