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In which a letter to a hypothetical individual is composed

Dear whoever I end up marrying, assuming I get married someday, because I fully understand that that may never actually happen,

There are a few things you should probably know about me from the get-go, so there aren't any nasty surprises after our nuptials:

  • I don't want a diamond on my ring. Or really, any kind of rock. Just a really awesome looking band, with maybe some cool swirlies and just a few tiny colored stones inlaid in it. Also, please don't spend ridiculous amounts of money on it. I think a couple hundred dollars is a good upper limit, though I bet you could find an awesome one for much cheaper.
  • I thrash a lot in my sleep. And kick. And sometimes tear all of the blankets off of my bed. Sometimes I wake up with my head where my feet should be. I've been known to walk, talk, sing and laugh in my sleep. I hope you're ready to never get a good night's sleep for the rest of forever.
  • Unlike the majority of my Mormon peers, I really appreciate facial hair on a man. So you have my permission and encouragement to grow out your beard. Just no Hitler staches, k? (Also, I think the fact that I'm letting you grow facial hair means I shouldn't have to shave my legs).
  • In the four years I've been at college, I've never checked the mail. (Excluding the time I walked with Dria to the mailbox but didn't actually open it myself, and the week in Vienna when I obsessively checked the mail at school every day to see if my birthday package had come). I'm trying to continue this streak as long as possible. should probably be in charge of checking the mail.
  • I have really weird taste in music. Be prepared to come home to me blasting anything from Beirut to Schumann to Celtic fiddle tunes.
  • I will be really really happy if you want to come with me to art museums and concerts, or if you want to go camping, hiking, or running. But it's no pressure if you don't want to, that's all stuff I like doing by myself too (except camping. Solo camping sounds intriguing, but a little scary).
  • It's okay if you're scared of spiders, I'm a champion spider-killer.
  • I'm never going to grow out of climbing trees or jumping in puddles. Please join me. 
  • I'm really excited to meet you. Like, crazy excited. But feel free to take your time, I'm in no rush. We've got forever.


  1. i've been trying to tell people for YEARS that beards are a very good idea.

  2. ...You walked with me to get the mail once? I do not remember this, cupcake.

    But I DO remember how skilled you are in the disposal of spiders. Kudos.

    1. It was like the first day or two that we lived in Belmont and we couldn't get the package box open. I only remember it because like I said, it's the only time I've ever checked the mail in Provo.

  3. I did not know you are a champion spider killer. Cool!


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