Monday, September 27, 2010

In which I am nowhere to be found

Dear Karissa,

Where have you gone? I miss you. I know I agreed to cover for you, live your life while you were gone, but I thought you were only taking off for a couple of days. Not the whole semester. I mean, I know you've stopped in now and again and I appreciate that. You came to the music preschool last week to play with Leyla and Niko and all the other kids. And there is that certain boy who can sometimes tempt you to come back. But then you disappear as soon as you arrived. I'm pretty good at pretending to be you, but my disguise is slipping. This morning Sister Kenney commented that my teaching lacks passion and commitment. If it had been you teaching, there would have been passion and energy up the wazoo. And it's only a matter of time before Dr. Shumway notices, since I simply don't play the piano as well as you do. I don't do school as well as you do. I'm terribly shy and can't even handle basic social situations as well as you. I just can't seem to manage your life with the same zest, optimism and joy that you do.
And your friends miss you too. Mike assures me that he doesn't play favorites, he likes me just as much as you, but I can tell he misses you. I'm not sure if my roommates have caught on to your absence yet, but I think they've definitely noticed my comparative lack of luster. Your Mom and Dad are worried about you, and they offer to help me to find you, but there's not that much they can do.
That's the scary part. No matter how many people miss you and care about you and want you back...I think I'm the only one who can find you. Which means first I need to figure out why you left. What were you so afraid of? What was so painful that you couldn't stick around this semester?
Please come back. It's not the same here without you.
Your shadow.


  1. this makes me terribly sad. yet it is terribly open and honest. which is actually rather inspiring

  2. This is beautiful writing, like, wonderful. Like, I cried in it's beauty, but not really, because I was in public and I just don't cry in public, but if I was at home, I would have cried...and now I'm rambling.

    But really, I love it.