Skip to main content

In which I let go...

Sometimes I make plans.
Sometimes these plans are for the day: move in on Tuesday.
Sometimes these plans are for the semester: take a lot of crazy hard classes so I have no time for life.
Sometimes these plans are for the year: lifeguard/teach lessons at the pool.

And...sometimes I hold on so tightly to these plans that having the very rigidity stresses me out, but I'm afraid to let go and surrender to the unknown.
But today I let go.
I have to move in on Thursday. And I am happy.
The pool has decided not to keep me for the fall/winter. And so I will have time to do homework.
My schedule for fall is not the most rigorous I could possibly handle. And I am trying not to feel guilty about that.

And I feel good.

Actually, I might just feel good because I'm listening to "7/4 shoreline" by Broken Social Scene, and it's my new favorite song on earth. Guys, it's actually in 7/4!!! (I just discovered Broken Social Scene for myself today. Brenton, if you still read this, thank you for casually mentioning them in passing a few times. I saw a link to one of their songs today, and remembering how much you liked them decided to check them out. I love them. Should that surprise me? Probably not.)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In which I pen a tribute to my ex-boyfriends

So, I promised a friend I would have something substantial up here by tonight. Another friend told me that I needed to post soon, because...MY READERSHIP! I didn't know I had a "readership" but if I do, I'd hate to disappoint them! So here goes. Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions about whether or not I'm dating anyone, or if I'm still dating "that one guy" (which has been used in reference to both the man I stopped dating about a month ago, and the other fellow I stopped dating over a year ago), or simply condolences that things didn't work out with some relationship or another. These questions and condolences are often coupled with the idea that I'll "find the right guy soon," or "I met my husband right after a break-up," or that "if it isn't right, it isn't right." And while I don't disagree with any of those statements, I also feel that these relationships and subsequent breakups,...
12 comments
Read more

This is the birth day of life and love and wings

In honor of Easter, and spring, here is one of my most favorite poems, by one of my most favorite poets, e. e. cummings. (Yes, he really doesn't capitalize his name, I'm not just being a lazy blogger). (P.S. for best results, read this poem out loud. It's better that way)/ i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes (i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth) how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any-lifted from the no of all nothing-human merely being doubt unimaginable You? (now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
6 comments
Read more

Some thoughts on love

I know this is a somewhat radical concept in our society of fairy-tale ideals, but here goes: how bad is it to marry someone who you are not "in love" with? I'm not referring to marrying for money or convenience, or marrying someone you despise. I'm imagining a scenario in which you know someone very well, respect, admire, and even love them, but feel no romantic affection for them. Maybe you're even physically attracted to this person, but this attraction is something quite separate from your feelings for them as an individual. Is it so wrong to want to spend your life with someone who understands you, who you love to spend time with, and who makes you a better person, even if you don't get butterflies in your stomach when you hear their name and the the thought of them does not induce a giddy euphoria? I mean, from what I've heard, the "in love " feeling usually fades some time into a marriage anyways, hopefully replaced by a deeper love t...
5 comments
Read more